Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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