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• (317): View more from Indiana

  wrigley field is MILF paradise

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.

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• (+54): View more from

  look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.

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• (646): View more from New York

  He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.

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• (932): View more from

  The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change

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• (325): View more from Texas

  I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  There are leaves in my underwear?

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