reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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