it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
