Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
