she smelled like a LAN party
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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