my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
