I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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