Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize