I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
