how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
