I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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