I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
