I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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