I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
