It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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