there's paper in my vomit.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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