Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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