After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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