I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
