Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
