The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
