ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
