I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
