so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
