i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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