# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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