No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
