Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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