If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
