I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
