i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my sisters under your porch take her home
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
