Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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