I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
