is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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