I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
