i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Randomize
