OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
