I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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