you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
