Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
