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So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
