just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
sarcasm needs its own font
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
