Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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