DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
