I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
