what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
