shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
