he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
