Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
