I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
