Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
