Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize