I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
