so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Randomize
