Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
