Its about making memories worth repressing
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize