you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Girls should come with a carfax report
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
