why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
