Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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