We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
