jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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