you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
