I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
