yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
