i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
