Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
