I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
