So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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