He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
