You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
